Despair...

Despair crawls over me like bugs on a carcass

Exploring the raw internal wounds that ooze pain

Like a waterfall over bones the echoing sounds

Echo my own howls from the depths of my soul

A soul that has been torn and shredded and hides

Like a beaten child under the stairs

Attempting to avoid more pain because the

Incredible heaviness of being is suffocating

Stifling joy laughter drowning hope and choking

Life from the limbs that have borne me this far

But now drag along the dusty remnant of my dreams

Over an eternal desert a famine of the life once lived

Creating a vast hunger for light and a need for

Vividness of vision once more

Hope! Where did you go?

Why hast thou forsaken me?

Was I not faithful enough have I not offered

Enough of my own soul to others may I retain

Nothing of the me that was to bring to the future

That eludes my grasp

Oh breath of life where are you

That I will once again experience laughter

In the light of hope and happiness or must

I taste the dust of despair through an eternal night

As though my first and second sight had been ripped

From me destroyed by Despair

Hope springs eternal but I have no vessel

To catch it as it falls out of my hands like glitter

At the death of the disco while the music

Beats rhythms that reflect my own desires

To be glorious in life and make

Each second count for more than just the tick of a clock

And make my heart beat faster like it used to when

Life was lived and treasured and a most

Elegant affair that now seems as if it were someone else's

World that I peer into through a glass darkly

Distorting the images that were once glowing

Now only the glow shows ashes where once was life

Pain cries for my company and stalks my sleep

A spectre a shadow a ghost a ghoul

A Beastie that is hungry for the feeling I once felt

Has devoured everything in its path

And now seeks to consume the remnants

Of my once bright now shredded soul

Changing the harmonics of my life

Now a dull roar fills my ears like the beating of hostile

Drums and cries of warriors preparing to die

My soul resists and fights and strains to escape this prison

That despair created for me while I was busy

Doing something kind of nothing

Distracted by the feeding

I watched numb as I disappeared into

Despair

Resistance is futile cries the demon as it rends further

My soul stuck in its teeth and in dire need of a napkin

I scream banshee style and decide to take back

The child that the monster has stolen

You have no power over me

I echo the pain of women through the ages

In that single unifying rejection of becoming

By-products of the monsters digestive greed

And with my remaining shard of hopelight I created a single

Beam of light reflected from the dark crystals

Dreams that lay rent around me from the depredations

I have experienced like the others gone before me

I cry La Resistance lives on! to the consumption

Of myself by force

Get away from her you bitch and I shine

The clocks strike midnight and anything else they can reach

The light gathers momentum and blinds

The feeder while I make my escape

Into a place I do not know

How long I am here I do not know

While I heal I quietly hope to learn to hope again

BekStar

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