Despair...
Despair crawls over me like bugs on a carcass
Exploring the raw internal wounds that ooze pain
Like a waterfall over bones the echoing sounds
Echo my own howls from the depths of my soul
A soul that has been torn and shredded and hides
Like a beaten child under the stairs
Attempting to avoid more pain because the
Incredible heaviness of being is suffocating
Stifling joy laughter drowning hope and choking
Life from the limbs that have borne me this far
But now drag along the dusty remnant of my dreams
Over an eternal desert a famine of the life once lived
Creating a vast hunger for light and a need for
Vividness of vision once more
Hope! Where did you go?
Why hast thou forsaken me?
Was I not faithful enough have I not offered
Enough of my own soul to others may I retain
Nothing of the me that was to bring to the future
That eludes my grasp
Oh breath of life where are you
That I will once again experience laughter
In the light of hope and happiness or must
I taste the dust of despair through an eternal night
As though my first and second sight had been ripped
From me destroyed by Despair
Hope springs eternal but I have no vessel
To catch it as it falls out of my hands like glitter
At the death of the disco while the music
Beats rhythms that reflect my own desires
To be glorious in life and make
Each second count for more than just the tick of a clock
And make my heart beat faster like it used to when
Life was lived and treasured and a most
Elegant affair that now seems as if it were someone else's
World that I peer into through a glass darkly
Distorting the images that were once glowing
Now only the glow shows ashes where once was life
Pain cries for my company and stalks my sleep
A spectre a shadow a ghost a ghoul
A Beastie that is hungry for the feeling I once felt
Has devoured everything in its path
And now seeks to consume the remnants
Of my once bright now shredded soul
Changing the harmonics of my life
Now a dull roar fills my ears like the beating of hostile
Drums and cries of warriors preparing to die
My soul resists and fights and strains to escape this prison
That despair created for me while I was busy
Doing something kind of nothing
Distracted by the feeding
I watched numb as I disappeared into
Despair
Resistance is futile cries the demon as it rends further
My soul stuck in its teeth and in dire need of a napkin
I scream banshee style and decide to take back
The child that the monster has stolen
You have no power over me
I echo the pain of women through the ages
In that single unifying rejection of becoming
By-products of the monsters digestive greed
And with my remaining shard of hopelight I created a single
Beam of light reflected from the dark crystals
Dreams that lay rent around me from the depredations
I have experienced like the others gone before me
I cry La Resistance lives on! to the consumption
Of myself by force
Get away from her you bitch and I shine
The clocks strike midnight and anything else they can reach
The light gathers momentum and blinds
The feeder while I make my escape
Into a place I do not know
How long I am here I do not know
While I heal I quietly hope to learn to hope again
BekStar
