Test Drive a New Communicaton Style
The biggest mistake people make in communicating is the assumption it is all about them.
Communication is actually a two way street, where messages are exchanged. Commas, full stops and exclamation marks are the give way signs. Traffic lights are the indicators of effective communication. If you get all greens, you are probably being understood and heard. If you get red frequently, perhaps you have not adjusted your delivery style to the conditions around you.
Your communication delivery style is like the type of car you drive. Is your style always fast and in a hurry to get to the next set of lights (messages)? Is it unhurried and cruise-y, happy to take in the view along the journey? The first step in effective communication is to identify your standard vehicle. Once you have identified it, then you can start to see how others view your communication. Do you struggle to get your message across with fellow employees? You might be a cruise-y driver, and they are on the autobahn – which would explain why perhaps they don’t let you finish your sentences. Are you a fast driver who constantly gets asked to repeat themselves? You might be surrounded by a bunch of scenery lovers!!
Once you have identified your type of communication style, and those around you, you might already have an idea why your communication has not been as effective as it could be. When you are communicating with others, the idea is to deliver the message in their type of vehicle, not yours, because that is what they are used to. It is the height of arrogance to deliver a message in your own language (vehicle) and expect others to adjust to your style and speed, just like it is rude to be a road hog or a tailgater. If you want effective communication you need to deliver the message in a style that will be accepted by the receiver. Just like you are expected to follow the speed signs on the highway, you will be given signs by your audience on whether they are keeping up, losing you in the distance, or are racing ahead of you.
One on one communication can be easier when you realize that the delivery of the message is about the other person understanding in their language, not yours. Once you get to group communication, it can be a lot more difficult to manage. That is where you can make sure you have a range of styles available to you. Just like the difference between driving in snow and travelling on a warm sunny day, your repertoire of communication should have a range of skills that you can adjust to suit the conditions of your audience.
Now that you have identified your standard vehicle, mix it up. If you have a sports car, try an SUV and slow it down a little. If you drive a big cruiser and like to enjoy the view, put the foot down once in a while and see how you go. Remember to identify your audience first and what type of vehicle they have. If you are someone who likes a leisurely drive, don’t hop in a race car straight away – you will scare yourself for good! Make sure you pick the right audience with a vehicle perhaps a little different to yours to start off with.
Don’t be afraid to practice.
While it might seem fantastic to you now, once you were nervous and uncertain about getting behind the wheel of a car. Communicating in different styles is the same as learning to navigate those gears and get the indicators right for the first time.
Practice with friends. Ask them for feedback, although I can assure you the first time you match your vehicle to another and see the realization of that effective communication, you will want more. Just like when you realized that a car gives you untold freedoms to explore new and exciting places you could never get to, so does broadening your communication horizons offer its own rewards. No repeating yourself. Noone jumps to your conclusion before you get there yourself.
Enjoy your communication journeys from now on, instead of it being just a chore to get you from one place to the next.
